friends, amigos, compadres

i've realized how hard it can be to make/have/keep friends. i moved from louisiana & had a great group of friends there. things happened.. a move happened.. things that cause a strain on friendships. i've been burned by friends. i burned them. we can all be idiots at times.

people who i really considered my best friends. we no longer speak. i've tried to keep it going. but i felt that if the other person doesn't try or seem interested in what's going on in your life. or from time to time just say hello. why keep holding on? why keep waiting?

so i've let go. i wish them all the best in their life. i pray for them. love them from a distance.

i let go. and i tried to go back. and i've let go again. ha! life goes on with or without some of them.

i realized i had a problem. i was yearning for those peoples' friendships. i wanted to hold on. on to people that are miles away. people who really don't seem interested in what's going on in your life. otherwise, they would write you or call you. and i was not trying to make friends here. i was not allowing myself to open up to the possibility of "hey, you can have friends here too!"

after many prayers, God has helped me move on. He's healed some of the hurts I've felt. And through this healing & letting go process, God has brought new people, new friends into my life. He did not just bring new people into my life, but He has helped me strengthen friendships with people that were already around me.

God has truly blessed me with such wonderful friends out here. Friends that will call you over for dinner when your husband is out of town. Friends that will take you & other girls to go get a manicure/pedicure. Friends that will go camping with you or go watch a late movie with you. Friends that will let you love on their babies. Friends that we can laugh with & cry with for hours in our driveway.

Don't get me wrong. I still have great friends back home. Friends that still keep in touch with you. I've even become better friends with a few girls that we were not such great friends before I got married. Through the move to Albuquerque, I've been able to realize who are true friends & who are not.

I just want to give God the thanks for sending me friends at a time when I was really needing them. And thank God for my long distance friendships. I just pray that they continue to thrive & grow.

and even if I don't tell some of you girls, I really do value & treasure our friendships. :)